“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”—Psalm 5:3
In writing about intentional purpose and productivity, I felt productive but not very reachable, not very personable. Therefore, I intentionally scheduled to write, with the interjection of personal stories, about what my day looks like with intentional purpose and productivity.
It was all scheduled to be posted on a Friday. Yeah, who actually starts being intentionally personable on Fridays?
Yet instead of writing about something, anything, I’m stuck pondering the words purpose and productivity. It seems like people are more interested in purpose than productivity. Which is a cool thing – because we have figured out we are already excessively productive OR because we have figured out that productivity without purpose doesn’t really amount to a whole lot of beans in the end.
I can look at my productivity today and find myself looking at a ledge book journal with a minimal sum. I can look at the purpose of today and find that I struck a goldmine. Examples of some gold dust that fell on my lap include:
• Someone blurted out that they were looking to do something in the community, for the community. They started talking about their dream and just asked if I knew of any places that they could connect with. And I just happened to know of at least 2 options that I could pass along.
• Someone called me on the phone to just chat, to be heard, not fixed, not judged, not corrected. So I just listened.
• Someone sat with me on a deck at sunset and claimed to fit neither here nor there. I listened intently, without fear or doubt, knowing that this was the start of something wonderful. Wonderful because it has God expectantly, abundantly, prayerfully written all over it.
I created no physical wealth today. I designed no product that will astound the world. I managed, barely, to do a load of laundry and hand water the native flowers in my front yard. Yet those three conversations, totaling no more than 90 minutes when summed together, that was my purpose.
Believe me when I tell you that walking through today, focusing only on identifying a purpose was difficult. I mean, can there really be a goal of “live each day just playing around”? Maybe.
While drinking a warm cup of tea on an even hotter day, I struggled with the idea of pulling out a journal and writing goals. The feeling of wandering felt oppressive, as if wandering had an expiration date and I had passed it by a mile.
But in between the sips of the warm green tea, I realized also that perhaps, just maybe, the wandering, the pulling away from the “high productivity” expectations of this world had left me at just the right train station on my life, in this season.
Within the not knowing, my mind is blank. No preconceived ideas sit, percolating deep in the corners of my memory or want. And to be frank, any little old idea that sneaks out just doesn’t even fit me any more. I can jump on board any train, go anywhere, experience new ideas, new wants, new challenges.
As I pull further and further away from the productivity needs, I see that my future attempts at rewriting goals needs to be rescripted. Success, career, productivity – they are no longer at the top of that list. I sit down and look out the window at the meadow of chest-high wild grass and write goal categories in this order: God, marriage, family, friends, career (which is now a combination of purpose and contribution), and joyful things (self-indulgences).
I have faith that the categories will merge, collapse upon themselves – for why would it be difficult to visualize joyful things with God, marriage, family, friends, career or even purpose and contribution with marriage and friends?
I admit that it is difficult to write this way, to just write and acknowledge that life is that highly-acclaimed topsy turvy turly ride, and that thousands, if not millions of articles later, no one has figured out the right and perfect way to find purpose. It is difficult to acknowledge that you and I, not knowing each other, may or may not be in the same season, and in that uncertainty, there is hesitation, doubt, fear of being true of me and allowing you to be true of you.
Within the standstill of wandering today, I must also acknowledge that if we are both pursuing purpose, we must also allow space for authenticity, without judgement, without fixing, and just hear each other out.
Because in that listening to each other…that is where we will find our purpose. (And by golly, while we may both hear the same conversation, we will hear different purposes and isn’t that a powerful and beautiful thing?) And that, my friend and fellow “purpose seeker,” is what makes this whole topsy turvy turly ride so much more fun.
What purposeful gold dust landed in your lap today? I'd love to virtually "listen" by reading your story in the comments below.
Photo Source: https://stocksnap.io/
I love reflecting on purposeful, thought-provoking life experiences and turning them into life purposes. I am a writer dedicated to sharing life-lessons to empower women to attain their best life by turning experiences into passion-driven action.
When I'm not studying life, I'm intentionally living it. I enjoy art (admiring it and creating it), nature, and I'm a beginner sewer in the attempt to sew my own unique clothes.
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